


A Gilded Lining!

by dorbee



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Cockamamie Schemes (Goldie Edition), F/M, Gay Panic, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 20:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21482026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorbee/pseuds/dorbee
Summary: After Scrooge bans her from the Duckburg Billionaire’s Club Annual Gala, Goldie O’Gilt sneaks her way in disguised as a fictional businessman. She gets under Scrooge's skin, but not in exactly the way she intends.
Relationships: Scrooge McDuck/"Glittering" Goldie O'Gilt
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	A Gilded Lining!

There were many things Goldie O’Gilt loved—treasure, adventure, manipulation. But there was one thing she loved more than anything else in the world, and that was defying direct orders. Scroogie  _ had _ to know that a ban from the Duckburg Billionaire’s Club Annual Gala was an invitation to her. She knew from experience it wasn’t as easy as walking in: enter Sterling Argentum. He’s rich, he’s interested in legitimate business with McDuck Enterprises, and he’s new in town!

…Okay, so she wasn’t the best with backstories—that’s why she didn’t usually do the whole “fake identity” shtick. But there was a first time for everything, right?

As these things often do, it started off without a hitch. Getting the invitation was no problem—just sweet talk Louie into grabbing it from his Uncle’s desk. Scrooge didn’t need his invitation to waltz in like he owned the place. After all, he  _ did _ own the place! Her disguise was in tip-top shape, if not a bit understated. Brown contacts, a good wig, a binder, and a tailored suit was all she needed. As some poorer, duller people would say, less is more.

She knew well enough that everyone at this event had the same goal in mind: corner a rich person and get them to buy into something. All she needed to do was follow where the crowds were forming and—

“Well if it isn’t Scrooge McDuck!”

Scrooge spoke only in body language: “I want to go home, do not touch me, I will not hesitate to beat you senseless.” But there was one key phrase she didn’t see: “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Jackpot. She was a face in the crowd. Now it was time to start sticking out, not as Goldie O’Gilt, but as Sterling Argentum.

“It's an honor to meet you sir, I’m charmed,” She said, taking Scrooge by his hand. He reacted with red-hot anger, but Sterling Argentum wasn’t knocked off his feet so easy. She ran her other hand over Scrooge’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as she barely shushed him. Within a moment, the rage in his face calmed, and he probably didn’t even know why. Oh, the simplicity of men.

Scrooge cleared his throat and offered a firm handshake. “Good to meet ye, Mr…?”

“Argentum,” she said. “Sterling Argentum.”

“Sterling Argentum,” Scrooge repeated with a nod. His eyes narrowed. “I can’t say I’ve seen ye around here before, can I?”

Goldie shook her head. “No, no, I’m from the… Quailton Millionaire’s Club! In Tennetana.”

“Never heard of ‘em.” Scrooge said. It wasn’t obstinate, just honest, but it made Goldie’s feathers stand up on end. 

“Oh well, we’re not on the map yet. Quailton’s not a big, cosmopolitan city like your Duckburg,” She brought a hand to Scrooge’s face and leaned in to his ear. “But you and I could make some changes to that.”

Scrooge stared at “Sterling” for a few seconds, cleared his throat, and responded, “What do you have in mind?”

“Oh, what  _ do _ I have in mind?” Goldie said, realizing she had nothing in mind. She glanced around the room, then looked back to Scrooge with that confident smile of hers. “I’d rather not disclose these plans with so much company. Can we find someplace private to chat?”

Scrooge was set on edge. She could see him getting red in the face under his feathers, and his grip on his cane was white-knuckle tight. She started thinking ahead to escape routes. 

“Oh, we can find someplace private. Lots of privacy here in the club, lots of privacy,” he said, his voice stiff. He took off stomping through the crowd, looking over his shoulder as if he didn’t trust Sterling to follow.

This was not looking good. 

It wasn’t long before Scrooge had taken them far from the maddening crowd, but he seemed to mean it when he said “private.” You’d think a club this small wouldn’t need so much room in their building, but the hallways kept going. That was until Scrooge veered left and entered a small, dark room. As Goldie went to follow him, she found herself grabbed by the collar, bill to bill with a very angry Scrooge McDuck.

“What kind of game are ye playing, ye no-good knave! Spit it out!” He said, shaking her for emphasis on every word.

“Hey now, no need to get so angry!” she said, doing her best to keep her cool while she felt the walls closing in on her. “Or to mess up my nice new suit.”

Scrooge grit his teeth, then, as if in a flash of insight, let his hands fall to his side. He didn’t look angry anymore, so much as he looked confused, tired even.

“Oh, what’s gotten into me?” He said, rubbing his temple and taking a seat at a small table. Goldie followed suit, taking a seat across from him. 

“Don’t worry, Mr. McDuck, I completely understand,” she said, reaching across the table to touch his hand. He pulled back a little, but not all the way. “Every day, you’re hounded by no-good con artists out for you and your wealth—it must be exhausting! So I understand why you’d be doubtful of an honest businessman like me… Sterling Argentum.”

Scrooge tapped his cane against the floor, almost in time with the faint music outside. He seemed distracted, which could be a good thing or a bad thing. Goldie opened her mouth to speak, but Scrooge cut her off in the same moment.

“I don’t quite know how I feel about ye, Sterling.”

Goldie raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Scrooge sighed and rested his head on his hand, looking at Goldie with a faraway look he didn’t often get. “Well, no, I do know how I feel about ye.. I just—just—no one’s ever put me in this position before you, ya ne’er-do-well… who am I kidding.” He pulled the brim of his hat down over his eyes and crossed his arms, scowling as he sulked in his chair.

Goldie looked at Scrooge, in all his pathetic grumpiness. It was pleasant to see him brought down a peg, but she couldn’t sit and savor the moment when there was work to do.

She cleared her throat and leaned across the table, hands clasped. “Mr. McDuck, I’m going to ask you a sensitive question, and you're within your right to refuse to answer," she said. "Are you interested in more than my business?”

Silence filled the room. At first, Scrooge was still. His scowl faltered, twisting and quavering. Then, Goldie saw the most precious treasure of all: a single tear rolling down the cheek of Scrooge McDuck. 

“There, ye found me out, alright!” Scrooge shouted, taking off his hat and slamming it into the table. He buried his face in his hands. “Scrooge McDuck’s just a dirty old man.”

Goldie handwaved the statement, shaking her head. “Oh, don’t you worry, this happens all the time,” she said, which wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Well it doesn’t happen to me!” He said, banging a fist on the table. “I’m—I’m a man! You’re a man! We’re two men!”

Goldie shrugged. “Gay people exist. Your point is?”

Scrooge gritted his teeth and dragged his hands down his face. “I’m not gay people.”

Goldie tsked Scrooge and leaned in close. “You might be a senior citizen, but there’s never a bad time to start understanding your sexual fluidity,” she said. “Why put a label on your sexuality at all? Straight, gay, who cares! You like who you like, and right now, you’re into a man. There’s a first time for everything, and you should know that better than anyone!”

Scrooge nodded along as she spoke, sitting up a little straighter with each word. By the time she finished, there was even a hint of a smile on his face. 

“Oh, Sterling, you’ve got a way with words, dontcha?” he said. “That's just what I needed to hear.”

Goldie nodded and stood up from the table, offering Scrooge a hand. “You’re very welcome, Mr. McDuck,” she said. As Scrooge stood in front of her, she brought his hand up to her mouth and planted a kiss. She kept planting kisses all the way up his arm, Scrooge giggling like a schoolgirl the whole way. She cursed herself for not bringing a camera, because this was blackmail gold. Not because he liked a man, but because he was an obvious bottom. 

Goldie paused a moment before reaching Scrooge’s lips. 

“Are you sure you want this?”

Scrooge gave a dreamy smile.

“Absolutely.”

He closed his eyes, and Goldie leaned in for the big kiss. For Scrooge, this was a life-defining event. For her, it was a Tuesday. 

Goldie milked every second she could out of this kiss—it was all part of the plan. She rested her hands on Scrooge’s shoulders, sliding her way down his arms until she reached his wrists. She began moving his arms behind his back, and once his wrists touched in the middle—

“Sorry, Scroogie.”

Realization barely set into Scrooge’s face before a set of zipties bound his wrists and a knee went straight into his gut. He let out a pained gasp and fell to the floor, the wind knocked right out of him. Goldie crouched down and began doing the only reasonable thing—searching his pockets. 

“Bless me bagpipes, G-Goldie!?” he said, his voice hurt both physically and emotionally, “you went this far for pocket change?”

“Well, not exactly,” she said. “I like to go into every situation with a lot of small plans instead of one big one, right? This was plan C.”

“And plan A?”

“Well, I would’ve gotten access to your entire company, but I won’t go into the details. Saving it for future use.” 

Scrooge groaned as he watched Goldie stuff his wallet and some other prizes into her pockets. She stood up and brushed off her hands. “All-in-all, I’d say that went pretty well!”

“For you,” Scrooge muttered, scooting himself up to a sitting position. “You took me money, bruised me ribs, and made me go through a major identity crisis in a matter of minutes. You’ve outdone yourself!”

“Thank you!”

“ _ That wasn’t a compliment! _ ”

Goldie laughed as she strolled to the door, feeling very much accomplished. She paused and turned back to Scrooge. “If it makes you feel any better, Scroogie, I meant what I said about fluidity. You’ll have better luck avoiding the fairer sex!”

Scrooge turned beet red. Before he could get one alliterative insult out, Goldie disappeared, out the door and into the night.

Just like she always did. 

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic? Want me to write one for you? Shoot me a message at cheesecake-cuttlefish.tumblr.com ;)
> 
> All comments, kudos, and bookmarks are deeply appreciated!


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